Sealing the Deal
by Madilayn
Summary: Whilst doing a fire safety inspection onboard the Pacific Princess, Johnny Gage and Gopher Smith are left in an unusual situation. Cap is uncaffeinated. And Captain Stubing discovers that there is somebody even more of a trouble magnet than Gopher. This is very silly. Incredibly silly. Crossover with The Love Boat


**NOTE: **This fic was a collaboration between me and RescueSquad51. She is also a Love Boat fan. We were left unsupervised and got silly. And the only reason why the Tracy brothers (from Thunderbirds Are Go) don't make an appearance is that we couldn't work out how to do it.

You have been warned.

* * *

**Opening Credits** – voiceover over a mishmash of two themes. You don't want to know what it sounds like. Honestly. (I would like to thank RescueSquad51 for this Opening Credits scene)

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard this crossover between Emergency! and The Love Boat. We've been expecting you!

If you'd kindly sign this disclaimer that your sanity will be left ashore, we'll now cast off with your crew.

**Your Bewildered Leaders** \- Captains Merrill Stubing and Hank Stanley

**Your Medical Team** \- Dr Adam Bricker and Paramedics Roy DeSoto and John Gage

Your "We need warp speed now, Mr Scott!"

Ooops. Sorry. Wrong Engineer.

**Your "I Can Be In a Hurricane And I'll Still Look Immaculate" Poster Boy** \- Firefighter Specialist Michael Stoker

**Your Linemen (no, ma'am, not from Wichita)** \- Firefighters Chet Kelly and Marco Lopez

**Your Too Cute For Words Disaster Puppies** \- Purser Gopher Smith and Paramedic (yes, him again) John Gage.

**Your "Ooooh, I Love A Man In Uniform!" Cruise Directors** – RescueSquad51 and Madilayn (Yes, I KNOW you were all expecting us to announce her as Julie McCoy, but - hey. Our crazy ramblings, so our rules, okay?! And Madilayn's real last name's got a Mc in it... right?!

**Your "I can keep calm in a crisis and still provide entertainment for a ship full of passengers**" - Miss Julie McCoy

**Your Bartender and Unexpected Barista** \- Isaac Washington

**Special Guests**: Big Red and Squad 51

**And introducing our Very Special Guest**: Jeremy (as himself)

* * *

The voices from the apparatus bay made him realize that he was going to have to go out and break the news out to his crew. The worst duty that a station in the County could be given.

Still, at least he'd brought the best kind of bribery. And if they got too rowdy, he could always use the bag of donuts beside him for self defensive missiles.

Grabbing both donuts and clipboard - "Ooh, pretty good for a shield!" - Captain Hank Stanley rose from his chair, drew himself up to his full height, and headed into the vehicle bay.

"Okay, boys, lets get roll call over and done with," he said, taking his favourite position with one foot on the rear running board of the squad, and clipboard in shield-readiness on his thigh. "Boys, we're gonna be out of service 'til midday today. On special assignment. Sorry, it's our turn to do a cruise ship check."

The downcast faces and groans of "Aww Cap! Why us?" told him that his own dislike of this particular duty was shared by his crew. Still, at least they hadn't chased him around the bay. And his engineer hadn't thrown a speculative glance towards the hose tower, so there was no danger of being hog-tied onto it.

Yet.

Even so, Hank still drew that bag of donuts a bit more reassuringly closer to him as he tried again to avert Cap-aggedon.

"Sorry, boys, but our turn's come up, and we're the shift on duty. No other station is willing to do it for us." Hank didn't want to tell his boys that he had tentatively broached the idea, only to have himself the recipient of slightly hysterical laughter, comments of "Give me an out of control wildfire any time" and the Chief mentioning The Hat Incident. Again.

"Now, the ship we're inspecting is the Pacific Princess. She's docked for provisioning and company checks before she moves to San Diego for boarding tomorrow. Our check is the last to be done, but there's still provisions being loaded, so be careful."

Every head but one turned towards the family baby. As one, they all shook their heads at that all too familiar yelp of protest.

"Hey, what're you all lookin' at me for?! Chet's the one who gets seasick!"

"Yeah, in a puddle," Mike agreed – a glance towards the tower instantly quashing any kind of lineman's revenge. And reminding his Captain just what his Engineer was capable of. He hadn't done it _yet_, but nobody wanted to be the first one.

Even as he rolled his eyes at this distraction, Hank felt a sense of relief from it too. His engineer, at least, had found a new target for his dangerously evil streak. Not for long enough, though, as he returned to his briefing, and felt those deceptively innocent eyes latch back on him. He cleared his throat and tried to wrest back control.

"Right, then... assignments. Everybody is to check all extinguishers and hoses in their assigned sectors, as well as alarm boxes. Use your HT's to notify me before a test. Mike, you're gonna be checking through the engine rooms. Make sure you check for oil and fuel containment. Chet, I want you in the water desalination plant to check its piping for corrosion. Also check the waste pipes to ensure that they meet compliance. Marco, you've got the galley, restaurants and bar areas. I know it's a cliché, but frankly, you're the only one of us who I can guarantee won't be accidentally on purpose set upon by the chefs, and..."

Answered with silence, Hank looked up, and... aaah, that explained it. Five donut-munching firefighters now had their mouths too full to either protest or argue, and... oh, damn it! His ammo was now disappearing down their throats, leaving him just his clipboard-shield to defend himself. And he wasn't half way through their briefing yet.

Time to stand fully upright, then. Make the best use of all those lanky feet and inches. Give his field of vision the extra height he needed to give himself those extra, 'run for your life' seconds.

"Okay, Roy, you'll be teamed up with Adam Bricker, the ship's doctor. You'll both check out the Infirmary, and all first aid locations, and... hey, Gage! Damn it, that donut was mine, and... no, you twit, I don't want it now!"

Met with an almost sincere grin of jammy contrition, Hank then grinned too. He'd saved the worst job for last, and... yeah, suddenly he didn't feel quite bad that Johnny 'I eat anything that ain't nailed down' Gage had been assigned to do it.

"So then Gage, that leaves you to check all the decks and lifeboats. After the problems last year, we need you to do a lifeboat manned launch and retrieval on at least three boats. And this is for all of you, you'll need to also check at least two rooms on a deck you'll be assigned. I'll be on the bridge with Captain Stubing to co-ordinate everything. I'll also be conducting a ship wide alarm check, and you'll need to be in place for that. Duty assignments are the same as last shift, but we're all in charge of making up our own beds today. Now, is everyone happy?"

Ooops. Wrong thing to ask. No, even laden with jam and sugar, the kids weren't happy. They weren't happy at all. Time for a another bright, Team Dad smile. And - thank God - the extra bagful's of bribery he still had in his office.

"Okay, boys, let's get our coffee and more donuts, then we'll head out. We've got a lot to do in very little time."

* * *

Merrill Stubing glanced along the line of faces in front of him and saw the same lack of enthusiasm he felt for that morning's task. In all honesty, he didn't blame them. Maybe it was his advancing age, but he hated these early morning briefings too.

Speaking of age - well, here was proof that kids today had no stamina. This 06:30 meeting was clearly too much for his youngest officer, who'd traded his teddy bear for his best friend's shoulder.

All indignation aside, Merrill had to bite back a smile. Tucked against Isaac's side, he had to admit the boy was as appealingly cute as the animal that shared his name.

Gopher, though. How in the world had he come to be known as Gopher?!

A question for another time, though, as more serious matters had to be resolved - and this was as serious as they came. Fire inspections were all part of the job, of course, and vital to keep the Princess in service, but... damn, they were still a prize pain in the -

*HOOONK!*

He couldn't have put it better himself. And at least he knew the horn was in full working order. When it came to his now wide-awake purser, it made an excellent alarm clock too. A very useful thing to know.

"Good of you to re-join us, Mr Smith. Right then, people, we're on our final checks before we pull out this afternoon, so we can be in San Diego and ready to board the rest of our passengers tomorrow. You've got your assignments. Please assist the firefighters however you can.

"Chef Pierre, Chief Watson– I've been assured that the people coming into your areas are knowledgeable, and understand the specialist requirements you have. I'll be up here coordinating with…" he checked his paperwork "...Captain Stanley of Station 51. He'll be in contact with his men, and the assignments I've made for you to team up with them. Now, let's greet our guests, and get this over and done with so we can be on our way. Oh, and Isaac? While we're doing that, see if you can get that new coffee machine working. If we can't solve the problem then we'll have to mothball it until we return and can get a rep out to fix it. Right then, that's it. Dismissed."

Briefing complete, Merrill watched his officers file out of his cabin, and smiled as his still yawning youngest took his place behind them. Yes, he caused him more trouble than the rest of the crew put together, but young Mr Smith was still worth it. Well, most of the time anyway. And even if he found it with this John Gage, he'd have a paramedic on hand to treat any injuries.

So yes, he'd made the perfect choice here. Being teamed up with such a responsible adult was just what the boy needed.

* * *

So far, everything for that morning's inspections had gone well. For both captains, the fact that there were no problems or breaches was a relieving plus. But down on the Promenade deck, trouble was brewing - even if the coffee wasn't.

*gurgle* *gurgle*

"Ow! Damn it!"

These strange sounds that greeted him as he walked out onto the deck caught Mike Stoker's attention as instinctively as breathing. To those finely-honed engineer's ears, it wasn't so much the yell, it was the sound of water under pressure. The wrong kind of pressure. The yell only indicated that the water may just be a little… warm.

Walking closer, he saw the bartender he'd been introduced to as Isaac. The cheery grin he'd had before had predictably vanished while he glared at a large silver and black box on his counter. Still frantically dabbing himself down, he had no idea that he now had curious, concerned company.

"Stupid, misbegotten son of a…"

"It sounds like you've got a pressure problem," Mike said, interrupting the definitely not PG language. "If you want, I can take a look at… whatever it is."

So startled that he dropped his towel, Isaac stared at the tall fireman who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. The surprise only increased at his appearance. Not just immaculate but dressed in a heavy turnout coat as if he was taking part in a major fire instead of a safety inspection.

Still, if he could fix this damn -

"It's our new coffee machine. Installed when we first docked, but we haven't been able to get it to work, and... uh, don't you think you're a bit over cautiously dressed for an inspection?"

Isaac dabbed at his trousers again, and winced. Over cautiously dressed or not, Mike felt himself wince too. With both Roy and Johnny elsewhere on their assignments, the only person capable of first aid around here was him. And he really did not want to examine where that hot water had gone.

"You'll need to get somebody to look at that. Hot water can give a nasty burn. Oh, and it depends on what you're inspecting."

Engineer mode now fully engaged, he ran a hand over the machine, and frowned as he pulled it out slightly so he could access the back panel, then check the gauges on the front.

"Sounds like there's too much pressure for the water flow rate, and... yeah, that's it. Too much pressure. Too high flow rate. Did you get anybody to check the pressure of the pipe?"

Isaac was now staring at him as he usually stared at Gopher - as if his crazy kid brother had grown an extra head. Sure, this fireman seemed pretty normal in comparison, but all this talk about pressure, and flow rate, and pipes meant as much to him as Mr Spock explaining his latest discovery to Dr McCoy.

"Hey, I didn't install it, okay?! I'm a bartender, not an engineer! We get a specialist to install these things... they're supposed to check all that!"

An eyebrow rose, into The Look that could send his fearless captain running for the hills. Oh, so Mr Bartender here zinged out McCoy quotes when he got stressed? Well, for this unsuspecting bartender, Mike would let that slide without repercussions.

Well, almost. After all, not checking the pressure when installation of this machine was just a plain rookie mistake. And a safety hazard that would need to be fixed.

"I'm a Doctor, not a space robotics expert," he muttered, still peering over his new, unofficial safety check. "Can you call your chief engineer? Mr Watson, right? Tell him Engineer Stoker from Station 51 wants to speak to him."

When silence answered him, Mike glanced up - and felt an odd sense of empathy for a suddenly nervous looking bartender. Ah, so they had a cranky mechanic here too, did they? As cranky as Charlie? Maybe even crankier? Yeah, he knew the feeling - and fully understood why Isaac Washington suddenly looked so uneasy. Odd though – Chief Watson had seemed perfectly reasonable to him. Then again, so was Charlie when he wasn't dealing with malfunctioning fire equipment.

"You know, he's not going to be happy to have somebody fiddling around with anything he oversees."

Spurred on by a wry glance, and even wryer grin, Isaac then picked up the phone, and dialled their Chief Engineer's number. Any forthcoming fallout would be aimed at this other engineer instead of him, and... yeah, it was kinda comforting that this engineer was also a whole lot taller.

Happily oblivious to this impending doom, Mike happened to glance towards the quayside, catching sight of something large and red. His smile widened and he leaned on the counter, gazing intently at the Love Of His Life parked on the dock.

"Mr Stoker? Ummm, Mr Stoker?" Isaac reached out and shook Mike's shoulder to get his attention. "Sir? Here's your call."

"Hmm? Oh. Right." Dragging his eyes away from his beloved engine, Mike took the phone and, for him, started a pretty lively discussion with the Chief Engineer.

Listening in, Isaac understood the words, but had no idea of the context they were being spoken in. Still, he was even more surprised by how genially this Engineer Stoker was talking to their notoriously cranky equivalent. True, he wasn't saying that much at the moment, but from the smile on his face, it was clearly effective.

Placing the phone back into its cradle, Mike then moved around the counter, taking a pair of gloves from his pocket.

"Okay, we're good to go. Now, umm... Isaac, right? Do you have some sort of container I can use for when I test the pressure? Something that'll hold really hot water."

Thrown for a moment, Isaac then treated his new friend to his famous bright, happy grin. Oh, yes! He knew just the thing!

"Sure! We can use Gopher's old bathtub!"

Now it was Mike's turn to stare as he watched Isaac trot around the counter and head off on his errand. For such a puzzling mystery, it took just one word to describe it.

"Bathtub?!"

* * *

Roy and Doc exited one of the doors to the lifeboat deck and strolled over to where they could see one of the boats missing.

"Johnny said that they were doing the last boat," Roy said to his companion. "That must be it."

"Yeah. They shouldn't be too much.." Doc's voice trailed off as they could hear a commotion coming from over the side of the ship.

"Roooooyyyyyyy!"

"Doooocccc!"

"HELP!"

And then… the most curious of sounds. Sort of a bark.

Roy glanced at Doc. Doc threw the same 'What's he done now?' stare back at him. Then, in perfect step together, they ran towards the railing, and peered anxiously over it.

To their relief, the boat was still secured to its hoist about twenty feet below them, and they could see both Johnny and Gopher moving slowly around it. But something was clearly wrong. And, as always, two family babies were right in the thick of it.

The boat they were in had picked up an unwelcome passenger, and the same panicked thought flashed through their minds. Not a shark, surely? Not this close to port.

No, that noise sounded oddly familiar. Enough for a seed of suspicion to plant itself in Roy's mind. He was pretty sure he knew what was making it, but... no. Surely not even Johnny could have that happen to him?

More immediately, though, he had to find a way to get his partner out of this latest... situation. Out of his usual comfort zone, he had to rely on his fellow big brother for the reassurance he'd usually give out himself.

"Well, they're both moving, but that doesn't mean they haven't been hurt by whatever's down there, and... hey, Doc? Can this boat be swung in when it comes up, and lowered onto the deck?"

Still anxiously watching out for his own stranded toddler, Doc nodded.

"It can. But we have to wait until it clears this railing."

Now back into Mr Unflappable mode, Roy already had his HT out to let his Captain know what had happened. Of course, with The Calamity Kid around, he'd had a lot of practice.

"HT 51, this is Roy. Cap, it's Johnny. He and Gopher are in -"

" - trouble."

Glancing at the Captain who'd confirmed his own suspicions, Hank offered him a sympathetic grin.

"You've got one too, huh?"

"If you mean a walking disaster zone that you can't help but love... yes, Hank. I do."

Thinking back to when they'd been introduced, Hank's grin widened too. All mops of dark hair, big brown eyes, and irrepressible energy, Johnny and Gopher were like two peas in a pod. Or, at this current moment, two peas in a boat that had run into a clearly serious problem. So, when Hank spoke again, it wasn't just from one anxious surrogate father, but two.

"Where are you, Roy? Do you know what's wrong?"

"Not as yet, Cap. He and Gopher are in a lifeboat over the side of the ship. We're on the lifeboat deck, and we've seen them moving around, so they look to be okay. Doc's also told me the lifeboat can be swung over and lowered to the deck here."

"Okay, Roy. I'll be right there. Chet, Marco, Mike – get to Roy. One of you may want to go and grab the drug box. And the biophone. Just in case. This is Johnny we're talking about."

Listening in beside him, Merrill cringed. As soon as he'd heard Roy mention a member of his crew, he knew exactly who it was. All those carefully laid plans to keep his purser out of trouble, and - yes, trust that purser to blow them out the proverbial water.

Pressing a hand to a head that had been Gophered of its hair, he closed his eyes, and breathed out that ever suffering name.

"Gopher..."

As convinced as he could be that his littlest brother wasn't hurt, Doc was now talking to the crewman who was operating the lifeboat controls.

"Are they all right down there, Cy? What happened?"

"Yeah, Doc, they're okay, for now, but I don't know what happened. I was starting to bring them back up when there was a jerk, and they both yelled for me to get 'em up faster. But whatever hit them has jammed the hoist, and I'll have to make some repairs to the mechanism before I can get it moving again. I haven't had a look over, 'cos I can't do anything 'til we get 'em back up here."

Nodding once more, Doc knew there was nothing else he could do until these repairs were complete. The best thing he could do right now was stay at Roy DeSoto's side and be there for whatever his crazy kid brother had gotten himself into this time.

Still, at least he wasn't on his own this time. He had a fully trained paramedic there to look out for him, and - uh oh. Why was his fellow medic backing away from the railing like that? Rubbing his eyes, as if he'd just seen something really, really bad.

Peering over it himself, Doc then backed away too. Took off his glasses, so he could both rub his eyes too, and stifle the same laughter that he could hear run through Roy's voice as their Captains ran to join them.

"Umm... Cap? Remember how Marco asked what could possibly happen to Johnny on a cruise ship?"

Wondering which of three possible scenarios had actually happened, Hank joined Roy at the railing and looked over. He took a step back, rubbed a hand over his disbelieving eyes, then looked over again. Yes, he could see it, he could definitely see it - but he was damned if he could believe it.

"Where is he, Roy?"

"Under the seal, Cap."

Roy's voice was as calm as ever, but his lips were twitching – either at his partner's predicament, or at the incredulous look on his Captain's face.

If there'd been a wall nearby, Hank would have banged his head against it. Instead, he glanced up to the heavens, to ask the Fates who insisted on torturing him the usual, familiar question.

"Why me?!"

And, of course, things had to get better. If there'd been a ticket booth around, Chet Kelly would have made a fortune from the line of firefighters and cruise crew that now peered down at the free entertainment below. As more of his maintenance crews joined them, Merrill was sure he felt his ship listing sideways.

For some, there were glances of concern. For Julie McCoy, there was horror that the secret Love Of Her Life was in such danger. Again. With no threat of hurricanes, crazy hermits, or falling trees in sight. Others, on hearing the name 'Gopher' just walked away, shaking their heads.

For Chet, however, there were no such serious concerns. Rubbing his hands in pure and evil glee, this... was... priceless. Perfect revenge against the pigeon who'd squirted all that shaving foam into his hat.

"Hey, Gage! Sit tight, Seal Boy! We'll have you up as soon as the cruise photographer gets here. Be a shame for you not to have some snaps as a keepsake for your time on board."

"Oh, real funny, Chet! Yeah, so funny I'm laughing right down to my -"

*HOOONK*

*BARK*

"Hey! Gerroffame, and... whoaaa, nice seal. Yeah, nice seal... with all those big sharp teeth... and that lovely clean breath... no, you don't wanna eat me, I'm just a scrawny little purser, and... Dooooc! Help!"

Still transfixed by his friend trying to fend off an extremely friendly seal, Doc was understandably clueless as to how to deal with it. Lovelorn women he could handle - all day and night, if he had to. But a lovelorn seal, who'd set its sights on a not at all lovelorn gopher was waaaay out of his league.

Then the question of what to do was taken out of his hands - and everyone else's - as an over friendly nudge sent Gopher tumbling over the lifeboat's side. And as they watched him cling onto it for dear life - well, what else could they say, except the blindingly obvious?"

"Oh..."

"...my..."

"...God!"

"GOPHER!"

"Gopher, hang on!"

Silence, for all of two seconds, before a plaintive yell floated up to tell them that... yes, that had been a pretty dumb thing to say.

"Whaddya think I'm doing?!"

A fair and reasonable point, of course, that they pretty much deserved. Then another startled yelp, as Johnny, who was able to free himself from under the seal, grabbed hold of Gopher's belt and, if rather unceremoniously, hauled him back to safety. Relative safety, of course, considering the new admirer who was still paying him far too much attention. But given the alternative of an unwanted swim, he'd still take it.

The concern on his new friend's face as Johnny checked him over was kinda nice too. But more attention from his new admirer? Not so much.

"You okay, Gopher? Here, let me take a look at that hand, and... hey, Jeremy, I'm tryin' to work here. Gopher here's cut his hand pretty badly, and... c'mon now, Jeremy, now just - just settle down... I don't need a nurse, okay?"

Johnny frowned. "Roy? Can you drop me dow and some kurlex?" He absent-mindedly patted the seal who was trying to nuzzle Gopher. "Jeremy, don't try to toss him over the side again, OK?"

On the deck, Roy shook his head. "Does he think I've got the drug box here!"

"Nope, but I've got a first aid kit," Adam Bricker said cheerfully. "One on each deck, remember!" He opened it up and took out the items Johnny had asked for. Roy took it gratefully and used some of the kerlex to attach the 4x4 to the rest of the roll and dropped it down into the lifeboat.

Just as Mike and Marco returned with the drug box, biophone and a couple of ropes and life belts. And Isaac arrived carrying a tray with three steaming cups on it.

* * *

Staring at the Paramedic bandaging his hand, Gopher could have been forgiven for thinking he'd whacked his head instead of his hand. How else could he explain how a fully trained paramedic was also an expert in naming over friendly seals? And couldn't he come up with something more suitable than -

"Jeremy?!"

Still bandaging his hand, Johnny shrugged - as if naming over friendly seals was something he did every day.

"Yeah, he looks like a Jeremy to me. Why? Don't you think he looks like a Jeremy?"

"I think Jeremy whacked you too hard with that flipper... 'cos what you're saying means a big seal... a big male seal wants to carry me off and marry me! And how'd you know it's a boy seal anyway? 'cos from where I'm sitting, you really can't tell the difference, and... hey, cut that out! My butt is not your ball, okay?!"

Still rubbing where Jeremy had tried to nudge him off his seat, a glare of indignation then turned to one of guilty contrition as Jeremy covered his face with one of his flippers. He'd seen this before - memory and inspiration bringing back a grin of lightbulb moment, Gopher Smith brilliance.

"Hey, that's it! That's gotta be why he's jumped in here, and... hey, Doc? Can you go get my old mouth organ? And that airhorn Oscar Tilton gave me to remember Shirley by? Oh, and I'm gonna need fish. Lots of fish."

For him, of course, Oscar and Shirley had just been two more, albeit unusual passengers. But for Johnny, to work on a ship where you rubbed shoulders with movie stars, millionaires and royalty had nothing on meeting one of his childhood heroes. His eyes were wide as saucers as they viewed Gopher in a whole new light.

"You've met Oscar Tilton?!"

"Oh, better than that." Gopher grinned back at him with a not entirely modest shrug. "I've also stood in for Shirley."

Hmm, he then frowned - maybe not one of his finer moments. Sitting on a stool and playing Yankee Doodle on a set of airhorns. No-one had ever owned up to ordering him fish for dinner afterwards - a whole week afterwards - but he'd had his suspicions. Beyond their laughter at his complaints that he was sprouting gills and a tail, Doc and Isaac had looked waaay too innocent.

Back up on the lifeboat deck, Doc wasn't too impressed with this claim to fame either.

"From fully trained surgeon to errand boy," he muttered, deciding this was the perfect time to put demanding littlest brother back in his place. With sarcastic wit. And lots of it. "Anything else, sir? A ten-course banquet, perhaps?"

He should have known better. For every display of sparkling wit came the perfect reply of not so dumb innocence. Not just from Gopher either, but his new best friend too.

"Great idea, Doc! We're -

"- HUNGRY!"

Isaac stepped forward. "Captains, Engineer Stoker thought you'd appreciate this," he said and handed each man a steaming cup of coffee. Just like you prefer."

Mike reached a long arm over snagged his own cup, sniffing and taking an appreciative sip, before grinning. Sometimes, it was GOOD to be the Engineer.

Fortified by his own coffee, Captain Stubing felt completely in Command. "Sorry, Adam, but you walked right into that one," Merrill grinned - recalling a tad too late that his latest round of shots was due. And a ticked off doctor wasn't the best person to give them.

Still, he hadn't reached the rank of Captain without honing the arts of tact, and diplomacy, and... well, yes. Literal butt-saving too. He just hoped they'd come through for him now.

"Here, Adam... let me, uh... help you with that. Oh, and Miss McCoy? Could you come too, please? You know how... possessive Chef is about his kitchen. We're going to need a distraction while we raid his refrigerator."

"Yes, we don't want him to do to us what he did to Gopher that time, and chase us out with a tenderiser," Doc agreed, all smiles again as they walked away - the face he made in response to what he said next saying it better than any of his Captain's punchlines. "And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I know what he's thinking."

Yes. It was a terrifying thought. As terrifying for them as the mention of all that fish was for Hank.

Luckily, everyone was still too distracted by the ongoing dramas below to notice the subtle change in his facial colour. Time for him to make a tactical retreat before he hurled all over the deck, and... yes, thank God. He knew the perfect place to go. He gulped down the coffee, not even realising what it was he drank.

"Well, everything seems under control here, so... Marco, you go with Doc and Captain Stubing... if this Chef Pierre starts to act up, you can always say you've come to check his storage temperatures again... Roy, you'd best stay here with Chet, in case Johnny needs any more help down there... and you, Michael, are going to help me with that... um, other pressure problem you found."

Giving his engineer no chance to argue - or, more to the point, let that raised eyebrow give the game away - Hank then steered him towards the nearest doorway that led inside. Even if the grin on that engineer's face suggested he'd still regret this, sparing his Captain's embarrassment had to come first. And if he got too smug, then those furry red fire engines might just sneak back onto Big Red's steering wheel.

* * *

Down in the galley, Operation Gopher was also in full swing. If their temperamental chef had any suspicions over Marco sharing some of his favourite recipes, he was too excited by the thought of cooking them all to care. And even if he'd never admit it in front of his staff, a visit from Julie McCoy was always welcome - a playful wave towards her returned with another of those mega-watt smiles.

By the time he noticed his oddly depleted supply of fresh fish, it was too late to do anything else but let fly with howls of Gallic rage. Listening to the distant crash of pots and pans behind them, Doc and Merrill had to feel sorry for the poor soul at their catering suppliers. He had no idea on what was about to hit him.

So yes, the lifeboat deck was definitely the safest place to be right now - though they returned to an even larger crowd than the one they'd left behind. Not just on the ship either, but clusters of curious onlookers who'd gathered on the quayside. As Doc then dryly observed:

"Our boy sure knows how to hold an audience."

Didn't he just? They hadn't heard cheers for him like this since that unforgettable Mac The Knife on the Lido deck.

No frilly pink shirt this time, though, which was a definite blessing. Yet they still felt genuinely proud of Gopher's ingenuity. If anyone was going to find a way to bond with a lost performing seal, it would be him. Not even the noisiest, most off-key renditions of Yankee Doodle Dandy and The Viennese Waltz could wipe their "That's our boy!" grins off their faces.

"Hey, sir? This would be a great act for the lounge, and... can we keep him, sir? Please?!"

But that could. And as evil as it was of him to consider it, Merrill had to smile at its temptation. The thought of leaving his purser in that lifeboat had a definite appeal.

The sound of re-starting machinery caused his smile to widen in genuine relief. If he hadn't been balding grey before he saw him fall out of it, he surely was now. So, when it finally cleared the rail and lowered down onto the deck, his was the first hand to reach out and guide his boy into a "Thank God you're safe" hug.

With his Captain, two paramedics, and an anxious bartender fussing over him too, Doc faced such a fight to get his share in that he just stepped back and left them to it.

The biggest cheer of all, though - Jeremy's included - came when Julie threw her arms around Gopher's neck and kissed him until his ears turned pink. Everyone who worked with them knew they were fated to be together - just as they all wished they'd wake up, smell the coffee, and admit to it themselves.

Coffee of the real kind drew them down to the Promenade deck, where they were all met by the most welcome sight of the day. A buffet that made Roy grab Johnny's collar before he could single handedly demolish it.

The note left propped against one of the plates caused a succession of laughter, puzzled stares, and "We know nothing about this" glances. Apologizing for the lack of fish on the menu, Chef Pierre was still thankfully unaware of the reasons.

There was no problem, though, with the deliciously bubbling machine alongside it. With no engine around for him to set his wax and rags on, Mike had buffed and polished it to a dazzling shine.

The perfectly brewed java that came out of it wasn't too shabby either. In the same fatherly contentment, Hank and Merrill sat watching their boys - and girl - and potential new mascot - bond from two separate families into one.

From their latest misadventure, Johnny and Gopher had forged a friendship that made their respective Captains as proud as they were terrified, while Roy, Marco, Chet, Doc and Isaac traded tales of the scrapes their littlest brothers had gotten themselves into.

"...got hit with a lady's corset..."

"...held hostage by a crazy hermit... and hit by a falling tree..."

"...made a better Aunt Phoebe than Julie's real Aunt Phoebe..."

"...turned classic French cuisine into an alien life form..."

"...tried to convince us one of our passengers was the real thing..."

"...blew up our TV..."

"...did the same to our lights when the Captain put him in charge of decorating the ship for Christmas..."

"...crashed a kid's skateboard into a trash can... and fell into it..."

Mostly, though, their attention focussed on their respective toddlers, who were still huddled over their soon to be re-homed pet. A call to OceanLand had confirmed Roy's earlier suspicions - and brought his new little brother's hopes for a new star act to a disappointing end. Once its launch arrived to collect him, Jeremy would be returning to his real, happily relieved owners.

For the human pups he'd adopted, it was the best of endings that, in Gopher's case, was a crushing one too. After that shaky start, he'd formed a genuinely close bond with his potential star. If ever he needed a 'cheer up' hug and some fatherly teasing, it was now.

"Gopher, my boy, you did a fine job today. Though if I ever hear you play Yankee Doodle again, I may just have to toss you overboard."

As they watched Jeremy being led away from them, Merrill faced one of the toughest tests of his resolve that he could remember. Not just one pair of big, brown, puppy dog eyes staring back at him, but two.

He wasn't the only one who had to face it either. From Hank's sympathetic grin, he'd had his share of "Aww, Daad!" looks too.

Still, you couldn't keep a good purser, or paramedic, down for long - especially when there was food involved. By some miracle, some of their buffet lunch was still left. Within minutes, those plates had been cleared too.

Watching his junior paramedic haul himself out of his chair to refill his coffee, Hank just hoped they weren't called back on shift. With all that food inside him, he doubted if Johnny could waddle to a fire or rescue, let alone run.

A check in call to Despatch brought him a smile of grateful relief. Thanks to the delay they'd incurred after this little 'incident' Station 8 were still on cover for them for the rest of the afternoon. Glancing around him, he was even more amused to see his boys weren't sorry for this extra time either. The task they'd been so unhappy about before was one that they were all now really enjoying. Though his Engineer was sitting at one of the windows gazing out at the Love of His Life.

There was good news for Gopher too. An offer from Johnny, that replaced the dream he'd lost with one they could all make come true. Whether you were six or twenty-six, no boy could ever turn down the chance to sit in a real fire engine.

In return, Merrill arranged his own 'thank you' surprise for him too. In all seriousness, Johnny's instinctive quick thinking had probably saved his purser's life. Even if he never knew it, he'd earned another father's lifelong thanks.

By the time they finished their checks and returned to the main lobby, everything was set. Six sealed envelopes, that Merrill now passed into Hank Stanley's hands.

"From my family to yours, Hank. If you can find time to join us on our next cruise, you'll be more than welcome."

Glancing at his now very happy crew, Hank knew he now had two offers they couldn't refuse. A free, luxury vacation to Mexico. And, thanks to some behind the scenes dealings with the Chief, an exclusive assignment to the task they'd once tried everything to avoid.

Before then, though, came Team Stubing's visit to Station 51 - arranged with Gopher's extra efficient speed for the following weekend. As Hank observed to his equally amused counterpart "a classful of fourth graders had nothing on a hyper excited purser."

Watching him climb down from his seat and onto Big Red's hose-bed, Mike had to agree. It was all he could do not to follow him around his beloved engine, and polish everything he touched.

Then he found Boot. Or, rather, Boot found him. All hugging arms, and wagging tails, it was love at first sight. And as soon as those puppy dog eyes turned towards him, Merrill Stubing knew he was doomed.

"Hey, he's your mascot?! That is so cool, and... Captain? Sir?"

"Gopher, no..."

"But I'd just get a small one... like Boot here...!"

"...still no..."

"...I'd keep him in my cabin, sir! You wouldn't even know he was there...!"

"...Gopher..."

"...and hey, I bet I could teach him some real neat tricks... the passengers would love him...!"

Taking a deep breath, if just to stop himself from exploding with laughter, Merrill threw a "What would you do with him?" glance towards a fellow father who was laughing too much to offer any kind of support. So then - time to bring out the only way he knew to bring his own puppy nut purser under control. God knew, he'd had the practice.

"Gopher?!"

"Sir?"

In perfect unison, everyone answered him.

"Go back to your hole!"


End file.
